This is all to do with what we did alone, in isolation, separate from Holy Spirit. This is all to do with how we depended on ourselves and a our limited little abilities in place of allowing ours leves to be helped. This is all to do with not being open to guidance and support from Spirit. This is all to do with running the show and playing at being God. This is all an authority problem where we can't accept that God is the authority and that we are what He wants us to be. And really none of this has anything to do with being spiritual or real or honest.
This is all to do with what the ego has to offer you. It's all to do with the ways that the ego deceives you and LURES you down a dark alley. It's all to do with how the ego wants you to get further away from God so that you will not wake up to your TRUE POTENTIAL. It's all to do with how the ego wants you giving IT your power and trusting in IT for success and USING its services to get what you want to happen. The ego is running this world - or it thinks it is anyway.
And so after all this 'filling up' with yourself, your accumulating of abilities and skills and information and prowess, all of that has to come melting down as you relinquish and let go and surrender to a power greater than yourself. You can SHARE IN God's power and use it far more supernaturally than anything you can accomplish on your own. But you cannot posess it and claim "I did this on my own". That's the game that you have to give up. Are you going to be of service to the ego, which is what you're being when you're not of service to God, or are you going to put yourself back into your proper place and role as an extender of God's will?
Thy will not my will be done.