"I often have the experience with the course that i understand the power and truth of what is being presented as i feel from what you wrote about atonement etc, but sincerely meeting the world in the spirit of ‘this hasn’t really happened’ as an actual action or total experience, i’m wondering if you could say how you do this or how this manifests for you now, or what was your change in consciousness that allowed you to make ’ this hasn’t really happened’ be your atoned first reaction?"
When Jesus finally fully accepted the atonement, He recognized that no further illusions were true for Him. The body's illusion of death was seen as unreal, and consequently, His body disappeared. For Him, He was completely clear that the dream was nothing more than an illusion, and was now completely ready to fully transcend it and accept God's Love.
This is sort of the "end game" if you will, the final completion of the Atonement. The ability to accept it fully and completely and permanently. Jesus then lives out from this state of being, as Christ, which has fully awoken to the Truth of God and no longer can be deceived by illusions. He has mastery over everything and can choose to do whatever He wills with God. He can still materialize a body in the world if useful, and could interact with people that way, but He doesn't for one second believe any of it is reality. For Him, in His awareness, nothing is really happening here.
Now, for me personally I'm not at that level yet, and still have forgiveness to perform to undo my misperceptions and errors. So when I talk about my own accepting of Atonement, I must be talking about accepting it partially and not completely. However, each time that I become at least a little open to it, my overall acceptance of it increases and I come away with some degree of healing.
I think what you were asking about it how I transitioned from not being able to accept the Atonement to being able to accept it, even if partially. It requires certain steps in the undoing of illusions in your mind, which quite naturally leads to the Atonement and a natural willingness to accept it as Truth. By the time you get to it, it's almost a no-brainer and obvious that it is true and that you can accept it. You could almost say it is easy or effortless. But it requires some purification steps first.
The state of being in the Atonement is one of believing and accepting and understanding that whatever you thought really happened, did not really happen. It's a recognition that illusions were just illusions and not what you thought they were. It's an awareness that the "sins" that you thought you committed, or the events that you thought happened, did not happen in reality or truth, only in some weird psychological misinterpretation. An interpretation that you no longer believe in.
Once in the Atonement it is quite natural, it is really your natural state of being. It's a state of forgiveness, and a state of miracle-readiness. It's really just a state of being healed and being restored to your natural condition as Spirit, i.e. as God's Creation or God's forgiven Son. The naturalness of it couples with effortlessness and really it is not therefore "hard" to accept it. It's like just returning to what is natural and makes sense and can be trusted. Just as it recognizes that nothing has really happened at all, it also has the quality that it doesn't really take anything to accept it.
However, to get to that point is the illusory challenge, which requires various purification in the mind i.e. correction of errors in perception. Those are the steps where you need to sort of wipe the slate clean and get rid of all the layers of consequences that have resulted from the belief that separation did happen.
So basically, once you believe separation has happened, you will also then quite automatically start to believe that you have sinned and that sin is real. And then following on from this you will quite automatically progress to believing that you are guilty and that guilt is real. Then you will quite automatically start to become afraid that punishment is going to come and that fear is real and justified. Then this will progress further into actually making the punishment come and causing it to happen. If this whole process is left unchecked, it will very "naturally" and with logical consistency lead all the way to death.
So you've got these layers or progressions where one belief is leading to the logical conclusion that another belief should also be true. If sin is real, then it implies that you must be guilty of it. If guilt is real, it implies you really should deserve punishment, which creates fear. If fear is real, it implies the punishment is happening. etc.
The ego thought system will move right along all the way from separation to death because its reasoning or logic always takes you to the next layer of believing in death. Basically if you sinned, you deserve to die, in the ego's mind. So to reverse that and to "go to the Atonement", you need to lift off all of these layers of belief which are covering the truth.
Usually you'll find that you are mostly fixated on a specific level at a given time, i.e. whatever it is you are mainly or most directly experiencing right now. Or to put it another way, whatever is most in your conscious awareness right now. It could be you are mostly feeling afraid, or maybe you are actively experiencing punishment, or maybe you're dwelling more on guilt.
Usually, whatever stage you are at, on a given issue, you will not be aware of the stages that preceded it, because those stages have been made unconscious. The stage that you are at, whatever it is, is actually a defense against the previous stages, or to put it another way, it is a "solution" to the previous stage.
So for example if there is a belief in guilt, the ego's solution to that guilt is that you should get rid of it by disowning the guilt and seeing yourself as "innocent", so it projects that guilt onto other people and sets you up with a fake innocence so that you look like you didn't do anything. This fake innocence is vulnerable and weak and open to attack, which lays the groundwork for you being victimized. If you were to then be victimized you would be justified in blaming someone else because your fake innocence would tell you that you did not deserve it or ask for it.
But also being in that state of fake innocence you will be feeling attackable and you will start to experience fear. So the ego has made this dynamic of fear and victimization as a "solution" to the guilt. Therefore, although you really do not like that state of being, and do not seem to want to be attacked, secretly you do, because its better than the alternative.
Owning up to being guilty is not what you want to do at all, because you think it is true of you, and if its true of you, it feels really bad. So the fear/victimhood/fake innocence is protecting you from guilt, and causes the layer of guilt to be denied and repressed and made unconscious to you. So then you'll "mostly" be experiencing a state of fear or victimhood, because you have shut the guilt out of awareness.
This happens at each layer, whereby e.g. guilt protects you from directly encountering sin, and fear protects you from guilt, and punishment protects you from fear, and death protects you from punishment. But you can see how this is insane, in that the solution the ego comes up with always is a false promise that actually does not work and makes things worse. Death cannot be better than punishment, but the ego reasons that it will save you.
So you can see you've got some work to do to not only deal with the defense that you've set up (and remember defenses create sickness), as well as then having to deal with what was hidden behind the defense which you did not want to deal with.
So to get your awareness back to the Atonement and to be genuinely willing and able to accept it as the Truth, you're going to have to undo all of these layers because they are what you believe in. You can't believe the Atonement if you believe in sin or guilt or fear etc. You just won't be convinced of it. So long as you believe the guilt is real or the sin is real, you will not be willing to accept the Atonement as being True about you, because these other beliefs are telling you something else.
Another aspect to this is the fact that whatever layer came before, e.g. sin, it is the ONLY cause of or foundational premise behind the layer that comes after it. Sin automatically leads to guilt, and it is the only cause of guilt. But once you are in the guilt, and the sin has slipped into unconsciousness, and you're now dealing just with guilt in your conscious awareness, you will have forgotten the cause of guilt and will start to find other causes - external causes, to try to explain or justify what caused it or who decided that you were guilty (other than you).
So this will produce a whole set of fake causes or fake sources or fake beliefs about who is responsible for creating this guilt, other than yourself, and can spin an entire fictional story about who did this to you or whatever. That whole story is going to have to be brought into question.
You're going to have to admit that absolutely no part of that story is true, nobody in that story is really the cause of the guilt, and that it is absolutely untrue that anyone else has put the guilt in place other than yourself. The ONLY cause of your guilt is your own belief in your own sinfulness, and you're going to have to own up to that in order to disbelieve all of the supporting structures that seem to keep guilt in place.
So not only do you have defenses agains the truth in the basic form of sin guilt fear etc, you also have defenses around those defenses, which try to externalize the reason for those defenses and come up with fake stories about why those defenses are needed or justified or why you don't have the power to change it or didn't cause it or whatever. This is where most of the scapegoating comes in, i.e. most of the projection, and the belief that you have no power to change it.
So, identify where you are at in this progression of insanity. What is mostly in your conscious awareness right now. Is it that you are mostly feeling afraid, or maybe mostly feeling guilt and shame? Or maybe you are fixated on the experience of actual punishment happening perhaps in the form of physical symptoms or side effects of someone's attack etc. Then you have to work your way back up the ladder to the Atonement, undoing the various defenses that you've constructed along the way.
So that's going to include the belief that there are other external or separate causes for this experience other than the layer of belief that actually caused it, the belief that you do not have the power to change it because you didn't put it in place, the belief that you didn't cause it because the layer that came before it is unconscious, and the belief that whatever you are experiencing is actually real, as in reality. The belief needs to be questioned and recognized as being untrue, as being purely an illusion, to recognize that all of these psychological defenses are all illusions that you made, and that they are all completely unfounded.
You have to sort of convince yourself that they are not true, at each step. Taking it one step at a time. Undoing each piece of the defenses. You can do this simply by saying things like "this is not real guilt, it hasn't really been caused by or chosen for me by anyone else, I chose this guilt, I made this guilt up, the cause of this guilt isn't outside of me, the only cause of this guilt is my own belief in sin, this guilt has no reality of its own, etc..." Just go at it with "correction". Bring the truth to it and shine a light of honesty and responsibility onto it, undoing each of the lies that have been spun.
What you will find at each layer is that, at first, you believe that the most conscious layer you're experiencing is "a cause". You for example may believe that your guilt is real and therefore this guilt is causing some stuff to happen. Or is going to. Or maybe that your fear is real and therefore it is going to cause some stuff to happen. As you withdraw belief from it and correct your mind and learn that it is not real or true and has no justifications propping it up, this sense of it being able to "do something to you" diminishes. It deflates. It stops seeming like a cause.
You need to realize that because the layer that preceded it was the only cause of it, the layer that you're currently experiencing is in fact an EFFECT of that layer. If for example the guilt is only there before of the belief in sin, but the belief in sin is outside your awareness currently, you need to re-access or re-awaken the awareness of the belief in sin. And you do that by acknowledging that the guilt is not a cause, it is an effect. Acknowledge that it is not being caused by anything outside of you or outside of your choosing, and in fact in and of itself it is not causal at all. It does not have power over you and it cannot cause anything, because it is an effect. It is not real.
Seeing it as only an effect, an illusion, with no power, you start to become conscious again of the content of the previous layer that was hidden beneath it. As you affirm to yourself that this guilt was not caused by anything else, it was only caused by your own belief in sin, and your belief in sin is causing this guilt, this reframes the guilt as an effect only.
Once you can discern that it is only an effect and has ONLY come from the sin beneath it (or whatever the previous layer of belief is), the "acceptance" that the sin is what you "really believe" automatically renders the guilt inert. Ie you withdraw all your belief from the guilt and now you are dealing with the layer that came before it, the cause of it, and looking squarely at the cause of it you have now shifted your perception to the next layer that needs undoing.
A point to make here is that whatever you believe in, that is truth to you. It is what you accept. You cannot accept anything that you do not believe is true. So if you're believing that fear is real and that you are afraid because of all the ways that you are going to be punished, which seems to say that the fear is being caused by all of those external sources, then you will believe that you DESERVE that fear. Whatever is true for you, that is what you believe you are worthy of and it is what you will accept and allow and be willing to agree with. Even if it produces suffering, you literally cannot believe in something without agreeing with it. And in this example, the only real cause of fear is guilt, not the things you are afraid of.
So to elaborate on this a bit more, let's say that you believe you have sinned and now you're mainly feeling guilty. That means that you believe it is true that you are guilty. You accept that you are guilty. You've accepted guilt into your mind. You've allowed it, you support it, you are willing to believe in it, and you actually agree that you are worthy of it. It's like, you will not put up a fight and say that you're not guilty, instead you will go along with it and agree that, because it is real, and because you wanted to believe in it, if someone is claiming you are guilty you will be like "yes, I agree, I am guilty". You just lay down and accept it and allow it and accept all of the consequences.
That is all part of your desire to believe in these lies. By sinning, you supposedly have attacked someone, and that means you yourself - in order to believe that you have sinned, must believe that the other person has been actually harmed, and that being true, you also must believe that that person is now justified in attacking you back. So you automatically will believe that that person is justified in attacking you, that you "deserve" that attack, because logically your own belief in the attack implies your guilt and demands your punishment. You'll believe you are worthy of being attacked.
It is actually your own belief in your own deserving of attack that scares the crap out of you. Regardless of whether other people are going to get revenge or not, your own willingness to accept and agree that you deserve punishment because of your shame and guilt, means that you are now your own enemy. You are against yourself. You're not going to defend yourself, and in fact you're going to start arranging for your own downfall.
You're going to start pursuing suicide, you're going to start orchestrating your own suffering, you're going to start sabotaging yourself and making stuff happen to you. You'll not enjoy this experience at all, but you will believe in it and do it, precisely because of your OWN belief in what you deserve. And this is going to scare you as well because regardless of whether other people will be doing stuff to you (on your behalf) you yourself now have a death wish and are actively trying to punish and destroy yourself. You have to own up to that and deal with it and undo it.
Whatever you believe in, therefore, you will believe you deserve it and are worthy of it and will equate your identity with it. It will dictate what you can accept, i.e. what you are WILLING to allow. Guilty people are willing to allow themselves to be punished. Those who are ashamed will agree with others when they judge them and taunt them, because they themselves feel ashamed for what they did and cannot argue with what people are saying. To do so would be standing up against them, which would require them to stand up against their own belief in their own guilt, which they do not want to do because that would undo the belief.
So as you attempt to undo each layer of belief, or the defenses of your defenses, or to take steps back up the ladder towards Real Innocence, you're going to be collapsing beliefs and undoing these false ideas about what causes what. But as you do so, as you stop believing in the illusory causes of each level and own up to the real cause of each level and then start to take steps back up to the previous level, and on from there, you are actually raising your own idea of what you accept is true, what you are worthy of, what you agree with, and what you will allow.
While you're in fear, guilt, or sin, you will not allow yourself to be innocent, you will not allow yourself to be loved, and you will not allow yourself to accept that nothing happened. The belief that the sin guilt fear is REAL will prevent you from being convinced. You won't be able to wholeheartedly say, yes, I really really really believe this. I can really really really accept that this is true. Because if all this other bullshit is true for you, it will take your trust and allegiance away from the Truth of God. You can't believe in both God's truth and your ego's truth at the same time. So the ego's truth must be dismantled.
As you deprogram yourself from these lies, however, and you start to progress your belief from believing that fear is real, to believing that it is not real, to believing that guilt is real, to believing that guilt is not real, to believing that sin is real, to believing that sin is not real, things start to get pretty interesting.
If you need not be afraid because the only cause of fear was your guilt, then you're kind of done with believing in fear and now just need to deal with your belief in guilt. If you need not be guilty because the only cause of guilt was your belief in sin, then you're kind of done believing in guilt and now you're mainly aware of and dealing with your belief in sin. So the next step, and quite a big one, is tackling the question of whether your sin was real or not. i.e. did something actually HAPPEN, or has nothing happened? This is the doorway to the Atonement.
Did you really sin? Did your sin really happen? What makes it real? What is the cause of sin? What came before sin? Is sin something that someone else decided for you - that you are sinful - or did you decide it? Is sin actually a cause, or does sin have a cause and therefore is sin perhaps just an effect? If sin is just an effect, maybe sin is not real? What if you did NOT really do - in REALITY - what you thought you did, which was actually an illusion? What if what you "did" only took place in an illusory world, a dream world, and your entire belief in it was a fantasy? And what if you can prove that based on the fact that by undoing your belief in it, you are no longer convinced that it happened at all?
Sin is the idea that separation really did happen. So if sin is not true, and is not real, then, doesn't that imply that separation really did not happen? You have to undo your belief that you really sinned and that it was real. It was not real. You did not really sin in reality. Sin is not real, at all. So.... that means, separation from God has not really happened, right? So now you deflate your belief that separation really happened. Separation cannot have happened. It can't be true, it can't be real. If sin is not real, there is no proof that separation occurred. So it hasn't.
If you've done this well and have been sufficiently thorough in your "cleanup job" of your misperceptions and false beliefs, you will at this point be just about ready to enter the state of Atonement. Also the state of Atonement is a state of perfect forgiveness. In perfect forgiveness, your awareness shows you that, because of the Atonement (i.e. what you thought happened did not really happen and was not true), you must still be innocent, and there is literally nothing you have done "for real" that suggests your innocence has been corrupted in any way.
If sin did happen, your innocence has been destroyed. But if sin isn't real and you BELIEVE it is not real, you're actually becoming open minded now to being able to truly accept that you MUST still be innocent. If you haven't sinned, you must still be innocent. It separation has not really happened, what exactly is it that you have done wrong? Nothing. So you must still be just as innocent as you always were, God Himself must still regard you are perfectly innocent, even you YOURSELF will regard yourself as perfectly innocent.
Because you will see no further proof or justification or reason why you would not be innocent, you will actually become able to accept it is true. It must be true. You'll even reason, yourself, that you must still be innocent, because all of the beliefs in fear and guilt and sin have been swept away and all that's left is this underlying state of truth. If nothing happened, and sin did not occur, then your innocence must be unchanged and is now right in front of your face. It will be in your awareness. Instead of being unconscious, it has been revealed to you and remembered. You have become AWARE of it again.
If you are willing to accept that you are not sinful, you will be willing to accept that what the Atonement says is TRUE of you. You will actually be able to "accept it". You will agree with it. You will be open to it. And you will not see anything false about it or anything that it claims that isn't true. You will admit to it. You will allow it. You will be WILLING to agree that you are worthy of God's love, right now, because you are still innocent.
And this is where you return to Oneness with God. This is where you open up to God and realize, God has been seeing you as innocent this whole time. And now you have rejoined God in His Will, and are seeing yourself as innocent also. You are now open to RECEIVE God's love, because you are willing to allow yourself to be loved. You have no reason not to. So now you have this reunion in your mind, your mind becomes whole again, and it is healed in the truth of forgiveness. There is nothing left to be forgiven and God has not even condemned you. All is forgiven and released!
You will be willing to accept this because you will see yourself as worthy of this, having not sinned. Your innocence is clear and obvious. It has never changed. You did not even really sin to begin with! You were just confused for a while, believing that you did something you did not do in reality. God has not been changed. No-one has been hurt. There have not been any real consequences that have come from it. No revenge or punishment or ego "atonement" needs to be dealt because of it.
Everything simply is as it has always been in truth and in reality. Heaven has not skipped one note of the Song of Love for you, and you will now experience JOY, celebration, gratitude, relief, and peace. You have now accepted the Atonement. It is true for you. At least on this issue that you've been focusing on. And eventually with enough of these purifications, in which you come to accept that "only the truth is true", your mind is going to start to become miraculous.
It is the privilege of the forgiven to forgive. Your willingness to accept your innocence allows you now to start to realize that other people must be innocent too. Their innocence must be similarly guaranteed because their sins are not real either. This starts to make you a HEALER. It also means you are now capable of working miracles, because your willingness to receive God and to accept the "perceptual content" or miracles, for yourself, allows you to be willing and able to do so for others.
So now as you go about your life, interacting with people, it's going to be a different state of perception, even if in a small way at first. You're going to start to see more clearly what it is people are doing to themselves. You're going to start noticing the ways that people are believing in their own sinfulness. You're going to start seeing how people keep deliberately choosing death and suffering. You're going to notice that people are actually calling out for love, and the illusions that you used to fall for and believe were real, you no longer fall for. You now instead start to DEMONSTRATE what the truth is, and this will lead to all manner of miraculous expressions.
Your willingness to stand up for your Self and your innocence means you are now willing to stand up for the innocence and Christ in others. Your willingness to receive God's love and accept it as true of you, will enable you to express it to others and reinforce the truth in them. You will set people free. Almost like, automatically, just by the presence of your being. You will be radiating a higher wavelength of mind, a purer condition of awareness. This will lift people. There will be effects from this miraculousness that are far reaching which you may not even be aware of, just because you chose to agree that you are innocent.
So for the most part, in the short term, you'll still be in this world learning to more fully accept the Atonement, and still will be in this interim period of transitioning from a belief in your own guilt to a belief in your own innocence. And miracles will start to happen. I don't think I can say that you'll walk around with "no events happening" as such, but your mind's perception of the world is going to regard illusions as unreal and is able to SEE more clearly what the truth is about what you see. Interactions with people will become more loving in general and you will become more of service.
By accepting the Atonement for yourself, like, really ACCEPTING it, believing it, you will automatically be accepting it for others and will then share with them the love that comes from it. A forgiven mind is a blessing to everyone. It is the sole responsibility of the miracle worker to accept the Atonement for himself/herself. But this is not selfish. It doesn't mean you just accept it for yourself and then sit on your hands. It means you accept it on behalf of everyone, because whatever is true for you is true for all. Atonement can only be accepted if its truth applies universally, and the entire Sonship is thus seen as innocent because you see your Self as innocent. Your Self IS everyone included.
In the long term, at some point you are going to so fully accept this truth that nothing happened, that you are going to be done with this world, and this entire world is going to disappear for you. And when everyone is doing this, the Atonement is going to be fully complete in the entire Sonship and the whole physical universe is going to disappear, since it never really happened to begin with.