A Course in Miracles Blog

Parents and children as equal brothers

  • By Paul West
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  • 913 Words
  • 4 minutes 33 seconds
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If your brother is the cause of you, you are perceiving him as though he is your creator ie your father.

If your brother is your creator, you are his child.

In terms of causality, being a father means being cause.

In terms of causality, being a child means being effect.

You are not supposed to be the child of your brother. Nor is your brother supposed to be your parent.

Believing that your brother has the power to cause you is an attempt to claim that your brother is your father and you are his child. This is in denial of the fact that God is the father of both of you are you are both his equal children.

In truth, everyone is equal. There IS NO CAUSALITY BETWEEN BROTHERS.

Therefore in earthly relationships where you think that a parent is supposed to have power over a child, or a child is always going to be the inferior child of the parent, that is working against God’s will.

Children on earth therefore are supposed to become equal with their parents and the entire parent-child relationship is supposed to dissolve and be replaced with a relationship purely based on equality and brotherhood.

When children remain children and continue to be under the power of the parent, or the parent can’t stop seeing the child as a child rather than an equal, the relationship has not reached maturity. Nor has it reached holiness.

When you believe that your brother - in whatever form or role they take - has some kind of power to cause you, author you, create you, make you exist, define what you are, or otherwise affect you, you are making yourself into a victim, are making them into a victimizer, and there is an inequality in the relationship.

God did not create your brother to cause you. Your brother is not the creator of you. Therefore they are not responsible for what you are or what you experience. Nor are you responsible for what they are or what they experience.

If you have guilt about your children or about your parents, or are under their thumb, or trying to control them, or cannot accept them, or keep seeking acceptance by them, or want their approval, or keep trying to make them proud, you are giving them authority over you. It’s the same thing as claiming they are the cause of you, which makes you a victim at the effect of them. You do not need any of this and it must be healed.

In the ego’s world, it has set up relationships and families and procreation so that what should be a pair of equal brothers end up being dominant, controlling, owning, reprimanding, having authority over, and generally being inequal with the children. The children are kept as inferior and not on an equal footing, in order to maintain the illusion of special relationship. To maintain having power over them, or being powerless to do anything to become their equal. This is dysfunctional.

The setting up of brothers as a hierarchical family of parents and children, is an illusory false arrangement that leads to all kinds of dysfunctions and inappropriateness, SO THAT if you can learn to overcome all of those dysfunctions AND transcend the family structure, you will become mature and free. In other words, until all members participating learn that they are 100% equal brothers first, all baggage is removed, all power struggles are resolved, and the family is essentially “flattened” in its equality, the lesson has not been learned and the relationships have not matured.

There is tremendous resistance to this from both directions. Parents believe their children are their property and must behave according to their wishes. Children believe their parents have control and power over them and they must obey and worship them. Parents posess responsibility for the children and thus take away the child’s self-responsibility. And then the children displace and project responsibility for their existence onto the parent, and get all banged out of shape when the parent isn’t being parental enough.

These are all signs of immature family dynamics. Until the children and parents have become equals in every way, the relationship is not holy, it is special. When children cannot get out from under the parental thumb, they have not become adults. When you cannot stop trying to please your parents you have not learned that you do not need their approval because you are under no laws but God’s. God is the only true cause or parent. Even your earthly parents are children of God. Even your spouse is an equal child of God.

The only true healthy family structure is the one ESTABLISHED BY GOD! And that is where God is the only parent, all children of God are perfectly equal, no child causes any other brother, and every child is fully responsible and empowered to own the fullness of the unlimited power that God gave to them. In God’s kingdom the only beings that are your children are NOT your brothers, but are your *creations* which are part of your self. None of those creations are in the dream world and they are waiting for you in heaven.

Only through equality with ALL PEOPLE can you enter into holy relationship within the Sonship of God. And God’s sonship is His divine family, in which all sons are loved equally and no-one is more special or deserving than anyone else.

God loves us all equally and that is how we are to love and relate to each other.
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