A Course in Miracles Blog

Realizing that you are the one you are angry at

  • By Paul West
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  • 633 Words
  • 3 minutes 9 seconds
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As I found myself believing that I was angry with someone, what then came to mind was that both 'that person' and 'me' were two parts contained in my own mind.

It had to be true that I was at war with myself. Even if I think that my thoughts about the other person were about someone 'not me', that's not true. I had to admit that I quite literally was being angry at myself, had split myself into two people, and was believing that this 'other person' was the cause of my problems.

Once I saw this and claimed responsibility for 'containing' this entire scenario within myself - that this was my own mind attacking itself, and that this had absolutely nothing to do with that person that I thought it was to do with.... something happened.

A short time passed and somehow, the anger had completely disappeared. I didn't even notice it leave. There was no transition or gradual weaning off of it, or having to work on it or attack it or try to change it. I just sort of noticed there wasn't any, not even a trace, like it was never there at all.

Hmmmmmmmmm.

I'm seeing this more and more now. My mind is not really capable of having a separate objective view of an external world, with external separate people doing stuff to me. However I experience it, all of the 'content' of this scene is within me. Even my thoughts about how someone else is to blame, even my thoughts about how they're the ones who are wrong, that's all still a part of myself attacking another part of myself. My mind seems to have projected and 'mapped' onto the physical scenario - me vs another person - but really this is all happening inside me.

So ... it's not really possible to be upset at a separate person. I am only upset with myself. And if my mind contains content that says someone else is doing something to me, that's ME doing something to me. This is simply the secret to salvation - that we are literally doing this to ourselves, because any time we perceive an enemy we have made an enemy WTIHIN our own mind, FROM our own self, and we are at war with ourselves. We might imagine that it's got something to do with other people but it doesn't. We literally split our minds and form multiple personalities and they seem to interact as though separate people.

This isn't an insanity that's particular to me. This is apparently what most of us are doing all the time. I can't perceive conflict with others unless I have conflict within me. I can't be against or offended by others without having to separate off a part of my mind, label it as another person, and attack it.

So what happens when I realize that both me and my enemy are still parts of myself? That I am both of these people? That I am all of this war? That I am both sides of this conflict? Then the unawareness of ego, of being unconscious and lost in the battlefield, its foundation is ripped out by the light of truth. And then all effects from that inner conflict have to disappear. And they do.

You are your own worst enemy. You are your ONLY enemy. You are against yourself, and this is the only war you are fighting. You have no external enemies whatsoever. It's just you, doing this to yourself, having an internal war in a private world. This is the secret to salvation - that you are doing this all to yourself - that you are you AND your enemies combined. And this has got nothing to do with anyone else, because there isn't really an 'other' separate entity out there.
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