The ego takes two people and pits them against each other. It doesn't care who wins. In fact it will try to make both of them win, which maintains the conflict because it's impossible.
When you are in the ego conflict, you have to realize that it is not really personal. The ego is trying to come between both of you for ITS purposes of separation.
If you can stop and remember, wait a minute, NEITHER OF US is wrong, the ego is PLAYING us against each other and we are BOTH INNOCENT, then the entire foundation for the conflict has to dissolve.
This is the only way out of the ego. Either we are both innocent or we are both guilty and at war. We can never resolve situations by saying "I am right, you are wrong". That's unconsciousness. Until we are ON THE SAME SIDE, ie recognizing that the ego is acting on both of us in the same way and that we both want peace, we will continue to struggle.
So in this way it is helpful to think of the ego as a third party, an instigator, and a facilitator of conflict. It is better for us to 'side against it' together, by choosing not to play its game, than to continue to play it. Even if this means making out that the ego is a separate thing. Because as soon as we stop playing the game, the ego has to dissolve.
The ego IS the conflict. The ego IS the separation that comes between us. Its only aim is to increase separation. So let's not do that.
Let's forgive each other and be in the same boat and decide together that we're both innocent and reunite with shared interests.