A Course in Miracles Blog

What passes for caring can in fact be an attack

  • By Paul West
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  • 1 minute 52 seconds
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What passes for caring can in fact be an attack

Let's say that you're eating some ice-cream, and your loved-one says to you, "don't have too much, I don't want you to get sick"... that can seem like caring. But is it?

Their assertion is that ice-cream has power over you, can affect you, you are vulnerable to it, you can be victimized by it, and it is capable of attacking you. Their belief in this is practically using the ice-cream as a weapon, while at the same time making it LOOK LIKE they are caring about your well-being.

Well, if the person would've said something more like "you are invulnerable to ice-cream and it has no power over you and I see you being completely unaffected by it" that's far more powerful and actually supportive. That affirms the person's immortality and invulnerability and strength.

In contrast then, compared to this supportive statement, the statement of "be careful you might be hurt and I don't want that" is shown to be filled with attack and fear and guilt. Does that make it truly caring? No.

Such an illusion of caring is based always on the perception that stuff happens to people against their will, and therefore they need to take certain actions or avoid certain things in order to be safe. It's not empowerment at all. It's not protection, either. And it's not causing the person to actually feel safer or more protected.

It is a veiled ego attack, which on the surface always has a persona mask of "I am just caring about you my love" while underneath the real content of it is "I want you dead".

Too harsh? No. The ego is very deceptive and it disguises attacks as help and hides behind a facade of innocence when in fact, in the light of truth, its content is very undermining and backwards.

We have to re-learn how to be supportive of others. Our entire system of false empathy and caring and worrying about people is all riddled with disempowerment and thinly-veiled attacks. If we want to really support people, we need to start seeing them as they truly are - powerful, strong, holy, innocent, free of all suffering, and completely invulnerable. To see them as anything less or to believe anything less of them is not caring at all.

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