The Course says "anger is never justified", but when we are defending an idea of "why I am right", I AM attempting to justify myself.
I'm trying to say, "I am right because...", and I will use anger and intensification of the ego in order to try to 'rise up against' whatever is saying otherwise. How dare they accuse me!
Ok... so the antidote is simple. I have to be willing, even if I might have grounds in normal worldly terms for being justified, to let go of trying to be right. To let go of defending myself.
A person will only defend themselves if they believe they do NOT have grounds to stand on!
A person who is actually in the honest truth does not need to defend themselves because they don't perceive that something 'false' in them has been truly pointed out. They will stand firm and remain calm and smile.
It's only when a person's ego is activated, that they will start to defend it, because there is some truth to what the other person is then accusing them (their ego) of. And you'll try to defend that ego self because you, yourself, are horrified that 'its true' that your ego is standing on false ground.
So really we then get wound up by someone pointing out our flaws and our ego allegiances. If we didn't have these, we wouldn't be triggered and wouldn't try to defend it.
Defenses then are attempts to add shielding and extra protections to reinforce a FLAWED position - an ego position, which you've taken in error. And because that position is ego, it is vulnerable, and thus needs reinforcement and defense in order to keep bolstering it up, so that you can keep believing it is strong and firm. But it is really a weakness.
Funny that a show of anger is really a show of weakness, trying to appear strong to cover up a believe in a lack of true strength. And what is another word for a weakness or lack of true strength? Fear. Fear is always underneath anger and anger is a reaction to try to cover it up or compensate for it by *pretending* that you are excessively strong.
Choosing not to defend myself, by not believing that I'm 'right', which is an error, because that really means I'm 'wrong', allows me to stay calm and unengaged and detached from provocations.
There's nothing to defend when there is no ego present. And there's no need to then justify and rationalize why the ego is right.