A Course in Miracles Blog

Would you rather be right or happy, or wrong, or correct?

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Sometimes in the heat of conversations, people throw forth the "you'd rather be right than happy" quote. Funnily enough this quote is usually given by someone trying to be right.

Anyway, what is this "being right" thing? It begins when someone believes they are wrong, ie guilty of something. The wrongfulness is projected. You accuse your brother of your own belief in your own sinfulness. And before you know it, you're trying to defend yourself against what appears to be something wrong outside of you. Being right "against" another is actually your split mind trying to be right against itself, by making itself wrong.

There is lack of a desire to admit to doing this, because the "righteousness" is a form of denial, actually an attempt to suppress and cover up the sense of guilt and sin or "wrongfulness" within. To admit that you believe you are wrong seems hurtful. Trying to cover this over with "the face of innocence" seems to allow you to portray yourself as not wrong. And of course this requires finding someone else to put the sin onto. If you look you'll notice you more often project wrongfulness when you're feeling unhappy to begin with.

Those who are right, therefore, believe they are wrong, and are projecting their wrongfulness. When a person admits to this, and goes deeper to realize they are not truly wrong, ie not guilty or sinful, it alleviates the need to project the wrongfulness onto others. And thus the need to be seen as the one who is right or "not guilty" disappears also.

The interesting thing is that when someone is not believing they are wrong, genuinely, they have no problem admitting to being mistaken or wrong. It doesn't matter, because they know they are not wrong, in the psychological sense. They know they are innocent. They don't have any guilt to hide or project. And so there's no need to "be right" to cover it up. They laugh at suggestions they are wrong because they know they are not wrong. But the opposite of being wrong isn't bright right, it's being correct.

When you are correct, you are accurate in your acceptance of what is true. When you are correct, you are not mistaken. In your correctness you are not deceived or in denial or needing to be right or wrong. You are above both righteousness and wrongfulness. In this state, it is possible to be correct on a matter, without necessarily being "right" about it. You can be correct without ego attachment. You can be correct without it entailing some form of guilt projection. And you can be correct without feeling a need to defend an ego position.

Someone pointing out that you are seeming to be right by putting forth something which is correct, is mistaken in their evaluation of what you're doing. There's a distinct difference between presenting something which is truthful and correct, versus presenting it at the same time as having a need to project wrongfulness, or as part of an attack, or to use it as a weapon of guilt. You can be very correct without it entailing any kind of righteousness at all. And of course that means you are not really "attached" to whether this correctness is recognized by or accepted by others at all. It has nothing to do with others, because the inner peace is being projected, not sin.

You can be happy and be correct. You can be happy and assert correctness. You can also be happy and defend a position. It has nothing to do with whether you are psychologically having a bad day or feeling irritable or wanting to blame someone. There is a difference between what is true and what's happening in the mind simultaneous to that truth being presented. You can also be happy and incorrect, without it in any way meaning you are sinful or wrong.

Is this entire post an attempt to be right? Hmmmm. Maybe.

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